Disclaimer: I wrote this blogpost out of angst and sadness. So I hope you read this piece with a little more of compassion.

Today, on my way back home, I bumped into some kind of underworld mundane, the first and the most frightening one that I have ever seen. A superstitious creature which came to life with their thick compact powder, fake eye-lashes, and artificial hair extension. It was a Dragqueen. Well, don’t bother to comment nor criticise me for being rude on somebody’s profession. I am an open-minded person who are able to make her own mind on many kinds of social revolution. A person who does not use morality to justify discrimination or stigma towards those who are “Divergent”. As long as those individuals do not attempt to harm me.

Self defence, that is how I state my case on my perception about the particular Dragqueen (not on general). It was started several hours ago as I walked down the street heading to my home. Having been exhausted after a long hours of working, I decided to stop by a convenient store around the neighbourhood to buy stuff. In the place I’m living, the environment was not really safe. It was a crowded area dense with new buildings and old houses. It was like a fusion between an old town and a newborn city developed by multinational companies. The area named Karet, a native region to the Betawi people that is located in the southern part of Jakarta, Indonesia’s capital city. As the superior will always oppress the inferiors, the old town is diminishing, being replaced by 30 floors skyscrapers. However, the natives who are reluctant to move, chose to stay in haphazard housing making the area more like a slump between splendid apartments. The obvious gap seemed to trigger problems transforming the streets and the neighbourhood as a dangerous place to walk alone, especially at night. Some jobless people, strangers, or drunkards could possibly come at you and endanger your life! (No Kidding)

Once, I met  a stranger in a quite street who approached me like he intended to ask me about direction. But then he turned to ask something about a girl’s name that he didn’t even know how to pronounce. Being suspicious on his act, I refused to answer. Seconds later, he moved his hands like wanted to grab something out of his pocket. At the time he showed that gestures, I runaway as fast as I could. Tonight, near the street, a scary creature came approached me and started to perform a show. Their face was covered by a super white, flour-like, compact powder. Under the deem light, unsafe environment and clouded judgement provoked by exhaustion, it looked like a thread. I was shocked and tried not to be in contact. So I turned around, got back into the convenient store. They took it personally and so, they followed me and confronted me on my face saying “Heh, Saya bukan setan untuk ditakuti.” I didn’t know what got in me but their action got me even frightened! So, I ignored them and that’s when they said the nasty words, “Gue sumpahin lu ga punya anak!.”

It mean in all accounts. I couldn’t help but responded the same way saying every bit of their words. Then, I took my leave passing them, pretending that they didin’t exist. Little I knew that a few meters away, they had a companion. I encouraged my self to keep walking.  At once, I took the left to the street leading to my place, walked fast, half running, while occasionally looking back and found that the Dragqueen and their companion were stalking me. As I walked briskly, I heard them talking about a strategy to commit a felony. They intended to harm and beat me in the most ferocious way to a human being, at the moment the street’s getting empty. Having overheard, I decided to dropped by a little shop, pretending to buy something. I thought it would be helpful, to my surprise,  they got into the shop as well. They were pacing up and down, then turning around like they were dancing while speaking some dirty words. Not responding to their action, they decided to walk away and waited me around the corner of the street counting the time to commit the assault. Their eyes glared, full of hatred. Their lips were hissing about something about abusing human. The street was narrow and they talked loud enough to be heard. That’s why I kept staying inside the convenient store. Lord knows, I was shivering and wishing the ghost will soon go away. I prayed for safety and after a couple of minutes trapped in a thrilling situation, The Ghosts finally moved along. As I saw the chance and didn’t waste a time to take my leave. I run along the empty street while looking back once in a while staying alert in case they suddenly appeared from nowhere.

While running, I tried to grab my keys out of my bag. Tremblingly try to open the fence while trying to stay alert. After successfully open the fence and locked it. I got into the house in shrieking. I was horrified and frightened. It was the first time in my life, I experienced an assault attempt, at least to my knowledge. The scariest thing you could ever imagine as a person who lives alone in a big city…

Like many big cities around the world, unsafe districts will always exist. Those places give no mercy. No matter how innocent you are, how decent you dress up and how good your intention to be generous, whenever you are out to walk the streets, there is always be a thread. Overpopulation, poverty, hunger, and unemployment potentially trigger crimes. In daylight, The less-haves witnessed people with fancy cars, luxury houses and money indulged in their hedonistic lifestyle while they were struggling to survive. Barely living due to hunger and undignified standard of living. In my country, we could see parents exploiting their children for begging in sidewalks. We could see an outcast jumped in and out of one bus to another performing out of tune melody with his broken Ukulele for pennies. We could see some drop-out school boys pushing passengers to donate money for an orphanage that doesn’t even exist. And, as I experienced previously, we could see a Dragqueen wandered around the streets accompanied by an antique music man luring some delirious night revels. An intended show that could turned into an assault when it is welcomed with objection.

Then, who is to blame? myself? the Dragqueen? The strangers? Unemployment? Environment? Or some greedy people who leave them abandoned?

The answer depends on our how you see it. And friends, its not even a Thursday night!.